Saturday Night and then…..
June 29, 2010It was nice to see you Saturday night.
And I know I’ve been a fuck up lately, and I know that you had other things you wanted to do, and I know that I’m 25 years old, and I know that we’re not that close, but still, it would have been nice for you to make it appear as though you wanted to do something before you left.
I thought I had gotten to a point long ago where you couldn’t hurt me, where our separation, whether temporary or permanent, whether spatial or temporal, wouldn’t hurt me. And for the most part it doesn’t. Really 99% of the time, it doesn’t phase me or bother me.
The fact that it doesn’t bother me bothers me, but I figure at this point, there’s not much that can be done about that. Neither of us seem to care terribly deeply about rectifying our emotional rift, and that’s fine. But the fact that you didn’t even bother to attempt to get together after your brief visit Monday morning hurt.
Maybe I took for granted, the idea that you would want to see me, and figured I didn’t have to make the effort. I know I didn’t think that it would bother me to not see you again, and maybe it wouldn’t have, but the fact that you didn’t attempt, that hurt. And now, as the rift between us grows deeper, and the sun sets three hours earlier on you, so it seems to set on our relationship, and the hope of better days.
You left. You always did, and granted you had a reason to do so, but don’t you understand how profoundly that impacted our relationship, how much that factored into everything, the fights, the distance, all of it?
And now you’ve gone again.
Only this time, I don’t know when you’ll be returning, the only thing I know is that when you do return, it won’t be with a Ninja Turtle.
